“Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another’s secret.” Proverbs 25:9 ESV)

           This scripture advises resolving conflicts directly and privately with the person involved, while strictly avoiding the betrayal of another person’s confidence in the process.  This verse addresses the issue face-to-face with the person with whom you have a dispute. You are not to drag others into the situation or gossip to build support.

           How many times do we do this?  We have an argument with someone.  Then we talk about it to a friend, a parent, a sibling, and if it is not about our spouse, our spouse.  Could it be because we want others to see our side and side with us.  

There is this saying, “Do not use sensitive information or secrets entrusted to you by others to win your argument.”  Yet how many times do we do this.

When my mother died a woman came up to my father and said, “You know Joe, Anne never said anything bad about you.  I never met a woman like that before.”

This scripture tells us to go to the source and ask for an explanation. Talk it out between the two of you—resolving issues privately stops the spread of rumors. It protects trust and reputation—for breaking confidence to win an argument can permanently ruin your credibility. It promotes reconciliation, allowing both parties to lower their guard, admit mistakes, and find real solutions to the situation.

Food for thought: “Wash your dirty linen at home.”  “Speak to me, about me.” “If you have a problem with me, tell me, not the world.” And as my mama used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice—keep it to yourself.” It is something to think about.  God Bless.  Amen.

denise